Where, exactly, do I invest my time? What is it that makes me distinctly me? Regardless of the answers, I'm pretty sure a good portion of the response to both questions is "wasting time."

I've just discovered that most of my old friends from middle school/early high school are on MySpace and have been writing blogs. A part of me is a little hurt by the fact that nobody ever told me, but I know that's pretty illogical, since we've lost touch completely over the years. If I had done things differently (not necessarily better, just differently), we probably could still be friends. It makes me kind of jealous that they're all still friends, they're leading interesting lives, they've spawned unique talents, and they've grown up to look very different from before. I feel kind of left out and jealous, but I suppose that irrationality is what makes me a human being.

I know a lot of my emotions have to do with the frame of reference. Things always look rosier when you see them second hand through personal propaganda (read: social networking sites) and I'm left to wonder how I look to people on Facebook. I also wonder what they thought of me when we were friends and what they think of me now.

In other words, my desire to do something cool persists.

Labels: life, philosophy