Salmoneus (Robert Trebor), now King Pholus' accountant, is busy at work when Autolycus (Bruce Campbell), shows up to rob the King. As Salmoneus begins babbling to save his own skin, the two hear a piercing scream from the King's chamber and burst into the room to find Pholus lurching forward with a dagger in his chest. With his last breath, the King collapses in the arms of Salmoneus, who is left holding the murder weapon as Gekkus (Peter McCauley), the King's greedy brother, and his palace guards appear at the door. But before the guards can seize them, Autolycus improvises a spectacular escape. With Gekkus' men hot on their heels, he and Salmoneus rush into the backstage area of a theater in which the widow Twanky (Michael Hurst) is rehearsing her all-girl dance troupe. Grabbing a dress off a rack, Autolycus convinces Salmoneus that disguise is their best chance for survival. Transforming themselves into Autolyca and Salmonella, they pitch themselves as experienced dancers to Twanky, who agrees to try them out as understudies.
When the dancers arrive at their hotel, Autolycus, who has already fallen hard for the breathtakingly voluptuous Cupcake (Lacey Hornkohl), gets Salmoneus into trouble. Sal is sent to his room and nearly panicks when Gekkus shows up. But Sal's disguise and flirtaceous banter quickly turn Gekkus into a lovesick fool. Meanwhile, Autolycus is determined to win Cupcake's heart, despite Sal's loud protestations that Gekkus and his men are closing in. Donning a snazzy suit stolen from a hotel guest, Autolycus races off to find Cupcake, this time introducing himself to her as Farciferous Van Baklava, an animal-loving, daredevil, pastry mogul with a sweet tooth -- in short, everything Cupcake's been looking for in a man.
That night, as Gekkus' guards lurk about while the dancers prepare for their show, a panicked Twanky informs Salmonella and Autolyca that they'll be dancing in place of two of her regulars who are suffering from food poisoning. Things only get worse when she tells them that they'll be doing the Hoochie-Coochie-Jiggle-Wiggle, naked no less. With no way out, the two must perform, but are ultimately saved by the clever use of giant peacock feathers grabbed from the backdrop behind them. Gekkus' crush on Salmonella deepens and the widow Twanky is thrilled. Cupcake, however, is clearly disappointed that her handsome Farciferous has not shown up. A sympathetic Autolyca rushes off and soon returns as Farciferous. The two have a marvelous time until Autolycus is racked with guilt and leaves his beloved, knowing he cannot lie to her anymore. Cupcake is stricken.
Meanwhile, Salmonella has agreed to meet Gekkus after the show and as they dine, he swoons over her, presenting her with a diamond necklace. When he moves in for "dessert," he inadvertently confesses that he had his brother, King Pholus, killed. Then, as Gekkus dips Salmonella backwards in the heat of passion, her wig falls off and Salmoneus is exposed. The angry Gekkus goes after Autolycus and finds him in his room, consoling the saddened Cupcake. Gekkus and his men take Autolycus, Salmoneus and Cupcake captive but when they leave the three alone, Autolycus manages to break free of his bonds. When Gekkus returns, a furious battle ensues, but Autolycus and his cohorts are able to escape and race back to the theater. Gekkus and the fugitives have a huge final showdown on stage, which the audience believes is part of the show. When Gekkus puts a knife to Cupcake's throat and Autolycus reveals that it was Gekkus who killed his own brother, Cupcake rears back and viciously elbows her assailant, disabling him as the audience cheers. Gekkus is taken into custody and hauled away. Later, Cupcake tells Autolycus that someday she might give him a second chance.
Starring: Kevin Sorbo (Hercules)
Guest Starring: Bruce Campbell (Autolycus), Lacey Kohl (Cupcake), Peter McCauley (Gekkus), Edith Sidebottom (The Widow Twanky), Robert Trebor (Salmoneus), Alister Babbage (Vendor), David Fitchew (Desk Attendant)
Written by Roberto Orci & Alex Kurtzman
Directed by Alen J. Levi