Jack of all Trades


Sex and the Single Spy

This summary is from the old Studios USA site. It was written from the viewpoint of Jack Stiles:

That quick thinking partner of mine really knows how to scoop up a man - literally. Croque and Brogard are awaiting the arrival of one of the most famous spies in all of France over on the docks when she decides that she will join their group. Emilia is shocked when a four-eyed dweeby looking guy with a french flag branded on his briefcase emerges from the boat. She does not take a liking to him from the moment she meets him. She butters this guy up and then pulls the rug right out from under him. The next thing you know this guy is hanging upside down for all the world to see! Then I appear ­ kind of out of nowhere as who else but as "The Daring Dragoon." Needless to say, I manage to cut away that ugly looking briefcase that is handcuffed to our man on a rope. Emilia keeps up our little charade and reprimands me from afar. I just love it when she tries to be overly melodramatic. When we're back at Emilia's lab we pop open the briefcase ­ not that the suspense was killing me - and yank out the contents. Who would have thought we would find the guy's unmentionables instead of the code we need to unscramble a French document. Talk about getting de-briefed! Emilia finally spills the beans and tells me why it is so important that we decipher the document. She thinks it is a local "hit" list for the French. If we don't get the names from the document ­ we'll have to live with the fact that we are responsible for the demise of innocent French people.

Emilia and I learn that Croque is throwing a little birthday bash for himself. At first I tell her that I am completely " a no show" for the party until I hear that it involves undressing people ­ then I'm in! She has this idea that he might be keeping the code tucked away with the family jewels, if you know what I mean. I tell her that she's got to work her womanly charm on this guy in order to get him to reveal any information that he may be hiding on his body. I misread her initial reluctance for her being insecure with seducing a man. So what do I do? I give her a lesson direct from the Jack Stiles' School of Seduction ­ an institution from which many a woman can only wish she was a graduate! When we get to the party, Martin can't take his eyes off of Emilia ­ she looked great if I have to say so myself. She tells me to meet her outside of his room after ten minutes with Martin. After she gets him to strip down to his unmentionables, that is when I move in for the hunt. I cut my conversation short with some very beautiful women when I realize that my partner has made her way upstairs. I come sailing in the room through an open window as the Daring Dragoon and see a naked man who thinks he is taking a bubble bath with my partner. Emilia already has his clothes in her hand when I make my grand entrance into the room. Together we spot it ­ I mean you couldn't miss this thing. The guy has actually got the code tatooed on his you-know-where ­ and our eyes go straight to it! When we put our eyeballs back in the sockets Martin is wielding a knife from his bag. Thankfully, Emilia has that ginger spray she concocted in her lab that makes everyone go blind, giving her a chance to copy the code directly from Martin's private part. I am the only that is left standing after this little battle ­ not surprisingly! Plus, with the code in our possession, a group of French artists will continue to produce art that I can't stand to look at it. What was I thinking?

Starring: Bruce Campbell (Jack Stiles), Angela Dotchin (Emilia Rothschild), Stuart Devenie (Governor Croque), Stephen Papps (Captain Brogard), Shemp Wooley (The Voice of Jean-Claude)

Guest Stars: John Leigh (Martin/Bernard St. Bernard)


Teleplay by Melissa Blake
Story by Eric Morris
Directed by Charlie Haskell



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