This summary is from the old Studios USA site. It was written from the viewpoint of Jack Stiles:

So it all started when Napoleon came to our fine tropical island in search of a nubile wife - planting a seed back home had proven fruitless. (One look at Josephine and I could have told him so long ago...) Em and I walked in on his estrogen buffet, which naturally looked like a party I wanted to be in on. Frenchie was touching the knees of all these pretty ladies (to each his own, I guess) - and naturally when Em walked into the room, the search was off. Then the little man told Em that should she refuse to marry him, he would declare war on England.

Anyway, sister's patriotic juices started a'flowing and she agreed, thinking she might be able to warm the soul of the cruelest half-pint in the world. (I couldn't resist telling her what he would want her to spend her time warming...) So, while Em had what I'm sure was a frightening dinner with Captain Frenchie, I convinced Croque to join forces with me in trying to stop the wedding - I hadn't underestimated his desire to be Emperor after all.

An intervention was neccessary, so I joined Em and the little man -- disguised as her mother, and told them I'd be moving in with them. Em was determined to marry into the freakish family, and was all-too itchy over my matronly impression. (Her stubbornness was getting to be a bit much...) I was trying to give Frenchie a window into what his wife wold look like in 20 years - unfortunately he wasn't put off in the slightest (should have done without the corset...) My mind was racing, so another plan had to come into play: a bachelor party.

I paid two harlots to get Frenchie tanked so they could have their dirty little way with him. (I couldn't have paid them enough -- to think that Em was walking into his paws for free!!!) I came to the wedding (corsetless - hey, I was desperado!) and quickly ducked into a confessional, and came out as the Daring Dragoon. So, half-pint and I proceeded to take out our swords (that little man has quite a draw I have to admit...), and fought up and down the aisle. The whole time I was stealing glances at Em through my mask, and she looked kinda pleased, I must admit...(Her sex will never stop giving me migraines...) And then, to all of our surprise, we heard Josephine's voice (I had given Jean Claude a letter bound for Paris - seems my tempting the saucy pigeon with beaucoup frenchie femmes actually worked!)

Half-pint stopped dead in his tracks, rendered a unic by the old ball and chain (just as I predicted...) Anyway, Nappie was dragged back to frenchie land and Em and I shared champagne and wedding dessert. (This woman is beginning to give me an ulcer - or was it that brandied cake??)

Starring: Bruce Campbell (Jack Stiles), Angela Dotchin (Emilia Rothschild), Stuart Devenie (Governor Croque), Stephen Papps (Captain Brogard), Shemp Wooley (The Voice of Jean-Claude)

Guest Stars: Verne Troyer (Napoleon Bonaparte), Celia Nicholson (Josephine Bonaparte), Paul Norell (Priest), Mark Nua (Maxi Me), Erica Hooper (Candy), Cat Roscoe (Bubbles)

Written by Andre & Maria Jacquemetton
Directed by Charlie Haskell