The ever-opportunistic Salmoneus (Robert Trebor) urgently summons Xena (Lucy Lawless) and Gabrielle (Renee O'Connor) to ask for help in keeping the peace in the kingdom where he's organizing the Miss Known World Beauty Pageant. It seems that The Doge of Messini (Calvin Tuteao), the Regent of Skiros (Tim Lee) and the Palatine of Parnassus (Stan Wolfgramm), area leaders who signed a peace treaty a year earlier, have all entered their girlfriends in the contest and since then, props have been wrecked, costumes ripped and the girls attacked by low-life thugs. Xena suspects that someone is trying to stir up trouble among the three men by using their girlfriends, and agrees to go undercover as Miss Amphipolis to find out what's going on. Gabrielle (Renee O'Connor) decides to masquerade as her sponsor, the Marquessa.
Almost immediately, Xena rescues Miss Messini (Simone Kessell) from being skewered by the arrow of a crossbow, rigged to kill her the moment she plays her harp. The warrior princess then leaves to work up her disguise, while Gabrielle takes off to get to know the other sponsors. Upon hearing about the latest close call, the three leaders visit the pageant sponsor Lord Clairon (John Sumner) to protest. Meanwhile Xena, turbaned and towel-draped, slips into the steam room with Miss Messini, Miss Parnassus (Jennifer Rucker) and the ruthlesslmbitious Miss Skiros (Katherine Kennard) to pick up some gossip. When her companions leave, Xena finds she has been locked in the room and is forced to escape through an air vent. The incident nearly prevents her from participating in the first of three mandatory events for all the contestants. Xena finally arrives on the runway, transformed into a leggy blonde bombshell. When she later searches for the culprit who locked her in the steam room, the trail leads to Miss Artiphys (Karen Dior), who turns out to be a mister! When she/he explains that it was fear of discovery that made him try to scare her, Xena surprises him by promising not to reveal his secret.
The three leaders angrily confront each other again when Miss Parnassus' ventriloquist's dummy is broken to bits. The Palatine threatens to bring in troops if any more trouble occurs. As Salmoneus runs himself ragged trying to teach the contestants a production number, the Palatine makes a pass at Xena, who sharply cuts him off. As Xena makes her way down the runway in a sexy cutaway gown, the Palatine, having discovered her Xena outfit, shouts out her real identity to the crowd. But just as the three leaders draw their swords, believing she has been hired as a mercenary, the tension is broken by the spectacular arrival of Miss Artiphys, dressed in Xena's warrior outfit, who proudly declares he's a Queen! The crowd erupts in applause.
Xena moves into the talent portion of the pageant along with Miss Artiphys and the girlfriends of the three leaders. When Miss Skiros begins her snake-charming act, Xena saves her from being killed by a sabotaged falling beam. The saboteur turns out to be Lord Clairon, who has profited handsomely in wars of the past and is hoping to provoke conflict again. When Xena tricks him into confessing within earshot of the leaders, he attacks her, sending her blonde wig flying and revealing her true identity. Xena quickly disarms and defeats him. The warrior princess, having solved the mystery, also manages to help the other finalists regain their dignity in the process. In the end, all send up a rousing cheer as Miss Artiphys is crowned Miss Known World.
Guest Starring: Karen Dior (Miss Artiphys), Robert Trebor (Salmoneus), John Sumner (Lord Claron), Calvin Tuteao (Dhoge of Mesini), Simone Kessell (Miss Mesini), Stan Wolfgramm (Palantine of Parnassus), Jennifer Rucker (Miss Parnassus), Timothy Lee (Regent of Skiros), Katherine Kennard (Miss Skiros), Brenda Kindall (Pageant Matron)
Starring: Lucy Lawless as Xena, Renee O'Connor as Gabrielle
Written by Chris Manheim
Directed by Marina Sargenti
Trivia: Actor Geoff Gann goes by the name Karen Dior for this episode.