Melora's Tour Diary!

In the Year Past:
One day, they packed a wagon and started out. A Bald Legend had asked them to go with him. They had never left their town before. Yes, it was the three girls and they had with them An Old Man who beat the drum. And they took also a Servant and a Father figure. Everyone knows their trousseaus were filthy and worn, but hey. Everyone should also know that they had little money which was to become less, because that is the way of the world.
Naive as they were, they did not realize with what largesse the Bald Legend treated them. They thought such an easy simple happiness was their due. Ha! They traveled the land, exposing themselves to the people and perfecting their skills. Perhaps @ this time the eating disorders took root in the girls. Whatever, They froze in a Saratoga barn one evening and Partied Not, generally speaking.

Some young anglican fops requested that the girls preceed them when the fops appeared in public. the girls agreed, again packing the wagon and taking the old man who beat the drum, the servant and the father figure. To the horror of all, the engagements were to be reached daily by Aeroplane!! While some might find such a predicament glamorous, it drove Melora to tranquilizers and no one also liked it anyway either. Agnieszka amused herself by making Bashful Eyes @ the boy who beat the drum. It came to pass that there were no sounchecks. And the people who came to watch didn't seem to take the girls into their hearts, but the girls were required to continue exposing themselves. Of course the songs of the boys revolved in the heads of the girls. They argued about the value of this music to pass the lonely hours. Father Figures came and went, the girls hardly even noticing. It was Winter.

Around Xmas-tide, Orwellian Control Systems, Inc., (which posessed the girls) examined the returns on the junkets. They spoke in a numerical linguistic system, but whatever the language, the numbers were dissapointing to all. "We knew we were bad girls!" they whined.


In the First quarter of the Year Present. Although the girls were past hope, offers poured in for them to preceed at various public engagements! Orwellian Control Systems Inc. finally consented to continue patronage and Off they embarked, Never looking back.

What a funny turn then, that it was again the young anglican fops that they preceeded! The word "X irony" had not yet been invented in those days.

The girls did their best to at least to continue to learn from Everyday as everyone, of course, should at least attempt to do.
Some things they learned at this time:
It is common to trick the audience with Trickery and Machines. Take note:
2. The Darlingness of the Young Girl Fans of Cleveland,
3. the Energizing power of "Don't Give a shit."
The young anglican singer did as he liked and all the boys seemed afraid of Natural weather. This coincided well with Melora's prayers to Our Lord that appearances would be canceled. So, with the Grace of God, and a Blizzard in Seattle, the torture was reduced.

As Many had, the boys tried to reassure the girls by telling them, "Fear not! Dark as you are perhaps you would be well received in Europe."

Seemingly out of nowhere, the girls were requested to preceed what is called "Porno for Pyros" @ a couple engagements. Although this was a very cool thing, Melora told herself none of this, that it was a nothing, the better for her to cope. They went to the Hall (near their home), they met the gangly googly-eyed leader of the other troupe and had a good show. The performance of the other troupe was quite wonderful.

The night before had been a large event for a man from the speaking box, H. Stern. The other troupe had performed there. The dressing room halls of the Hall spilled over with Mr. Stern's unique semi- celebrity hangers-on. The 2 Coreys were even there!

Often the performance of the girls would speak strongly to a very select few. On this night, the person so touched breathlessly seeked them out in the cavernous bellows of the hall.

On finding them the man paced the room, muttering affirmations of their concept. The girls said nothing, as per usual. When they stood together to have their souls taken by the light refractor, the girls felt weird that he was allowed to touch them. Also at this time, the man made strange, quit groans. Julia, never having seen the talking picture box, could not appreciate that the man was Tom Arnold, ex-wife of Roseanne Barr.


On going to Our Nation's Capital in Perhaps Feruary:

It was to preceed the troupe called "Porno for Pyros" that the girls again packed the wagon taking the old man who beat the drum, the servant and the Father Figure.

There the dressing rooms opened on to each other. The girls of course locked themselves away and proceeded to attempt to make their fingertips bloody with endless practice. "Why do you do that?", the other boys asked. the girls just looked at the floor and shut the door tighter. But the grating @ the bottom of the door had previously been kicked out by some scalliwag, leaving a gaping hole. The girls sat about, watching the legs and shoes pass by, trying to connect the voices and appendages to the proper boy in their minds.
See if you can make the same connections:
"Hey, I need more Eyeliner."
"I found the future under my fingernail."
"Polynesian homeopathy Rules."
FLEA DAVE NAVARRO PERRY FARRELL It's not as obvious as it seems How did you do?

It was at this time definitely that the endless speaking about M. Manson began, which was ultimately to bring the girls to the brim of Disaster & Insanity.

The kindly Mr. Farrell invited the girls to make the music of the future on the cornputer with him one day. Hell froze over, then they did complete that.

They were also required to have their souls taken by the light refractor with the other boys. Waiting for the boys, they felt like retarded prostitutes, but prude ones. Then they had to endure the boys saying things like, "I'm going to held my guitar like a cello!", or , "__________". Do you think that is funny or interesting? In fairness it should be noted that Mr. Farrell had a magical light in his eyes and said nothing stupid.

Following the show, a festive party was planned. There were even machine-printed tickets! Oh, how lucky the girls were to hobnob on such a strata. Upon arriving @ the Party, the girls were whisked to a Special Room and enjoyed talking amongst themselves alon with The Gay Best Fiend. Then, like a dervish, Mr. P. Farrell appeared before them whispering, "Come with me to were the Real Party is! We're all in there." Not a word was exchanged. They all rose and followed him. They found themselves cruelly pressed by a small yet tight throng. Mr. Farrell had said much the same to Everyone in the special room and all were attempting to follow this piper. As the crowd reached the even More special Room, Mr. Farrell Slipt inside Slamming the Door! He peered out occasionally, but no one was allowed to enter. The little crowd pressed even tighter, but to no avail. Some of the smaller ones came close to death by suffocation.


In the Month of mars, In the Year Present.

Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. Again the girls packed the wagon, fetched the old man who beat the drum the servant and the father figure. They were to precede to Cranes @ public appearances. This was to be a long journey going even to obscure Western American territories. In Atlanta, they met people who had come all the way from Sneedville to see them. In Detroit, Melora convinced everyone that Tulligirls had stolen her Make-up. In Austin, a boy with only bones for a hand was. Houston came close to blows when the audience believed Melora had verbally desecrated the Flag and Texas. In Dallas, they bumped into Shudder To Think, who treated the girls so kindly like old friends. In Denver Julia purchased a Fine new Corset. In Salt Lake, the winds of Change were blowing. Melora and Julia got into a terrible scuffle! By this time, they had exchanged the wagon for a grand stagecoach of their very own. Perhaps it was selfish for Melora to have taken over the whole back room of the coach as her very own office, but people have argued as to her selfishness for many years. In Vancouver, the girls had Family which makes for nice times. In Seattle, Melora and Julia could still not get along, but then they reconciled and melora purchased a Fine new Corset by Betsey Johnson. In Portland, melora pledged to a young man that she would craft paper dolls of the girls, to be printed in a periodical. This, she never did do and she felt bad about that all the rest of her days. Agnieszka and the father figure for the Cranes had Fallen in Love! Nobody minded that though. Perhaps the loveliest thing they had done in this time was to camp with their grand stagecoach in the desert outside of Taos, New Mexico. They were able to watch the Comet Hale-Bopp.

It was nearing the time to go with M. Manson, they all knew. There was some trepidation, but the girls loved to feel fear, like it was as tasting candy or something.

They had to take an Aeroplane to begin this new debacle. Melora didn't want to take tranquilizers, because they would leave her completely unable to perform that very evening. During the flight above the Earth, her manager wisely sat near her and talked endlessly of her taxes and sorry Finances. In a Blind, the trip was over! How wise he was.

Of Joy! they were in Arkansas. It was then that the Halls grew quite large. Whether Christians of old had been martyred there by Animals, the girls this did never ascertain. Not long in their dressing bunker, Mr. Manson himself did enter and took them into the grand hall to watch him sing a song. Standing alone in the center of the empty floor, the pageant rehearsed before them was lovely with mechanical snow and such very loud sounds. Afterward, Mr. Manson asked the girls to partake in wine with him. This they did not do. Nobody knows why they are like that. They played their little recital. The audience pelted them with every little thing, including a Skoal can, a yoga book, rolls of toilet paper, large cups still full of drink and many other things. All these objects felt as shards of glass and bullets. The cellos were hit and oinked out of tune. Melora was hit square in the forehead and a large knot grew. Agnieszka's pretty head lolled to one side and Melora feared her unconscious. Zim-Zum threatened the unruly audience from the sidelines with a shaking fist. They had had enough slowmotion torture. They left. The girls, that is.
After Manson's show, Twiggy & manson went to their girls' bunker to see how they were doing. Was this a mercy visit paid to all preceders? Manson telling of his own skull being struck by a full glass mug of beer in Germany encouraged the girls little. Twiggy was fascinating to look on with such a smooth grey face. The girls didn't want to have to expell themselves from the junket, but really, the potential damage to their beloved cellos (a bad instrument being worth thousands!) wasn't worth the physical pain of such peltings. What to do? Manson was wearing leather trousers.
To be Continued.